Are you enough?
by Stephane Leblanc
What a strange question to ask on a blog for leaders. After all, everyone in business is an achiever and dedicated to success so it is evident that everyone here is more than enough. No one in business is suffering from Atelophobia: the fear of imperfection, the fear of not being enough.
In my humble opinion, the reality is quite different. In more than 10 years of leading transformation work with leaders and organizations and more than 25 years as a senior business leader, I have noticed that feeling not enough or worthy is one of the most limiting beliefs faced by leaders and employees.
As the saying goes, it takes one to recognize another. I myself have suffered from this limiting belief for most of my life and it has brought me a lot of suffering as I have constantly craved to be recognized and loved by others to fill my void of self love.
Make no mistake, this has served my ambition well as I have worked harder than most people I know in order to achieve extraordinary results and be recognized and this allowed me to move up the corporate ladder fast. But in the end, it also got me fired a few times. No harm done, I learned a lot about myself through this, moved on and I am now leading my own company doing what I love.
Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance. - Brene Brown
The fact that so many people have a self limiting belief that they are not enough should not be surprising as this is the result of the parental and societal programming most of us have received. I learned something very thought provoking recently from Joe Dispenza, a neuro scientist. He explained that when we are very young, our brain operates at the lower brain wave frequencies of Delta and Theta and in those frequencies, children are in the hypnosis zone. This means that everything that is said to them or around them is engraved in the brain as the truth, without having the ability to judge if this is true to not.
Imagine the consequence of this. Imagine how many times a parent or another family member, a care taker, a teacher, might have said something to you that was limiting and you recorded it as true. Furthermore it seems that one woman out of three has suffered physical or psychological abuse in her life. This is probably true for some men as well.
We have been wounded when were younger and we carry the consequences of these wounds for the rest of our lives unless we make a conscious choice to face these wounds and transcend them in order to be free.
All your behaviours that do not serve you well in your life are based on fears and limiting beliefs from your past that you have not healed. There is nothing wrong with you. We all have the same challenge. Life is a healing journey and we rise in consciousness when we have the courage to face our shadow side and embrace it instead of rejecting it.
I believe that we are perfect in all our imperfections. Imagine if we were actually all perfect. Imagine how boring life would be. It would be like we were robots.
We need to have compassion for ourselves and others as we are all healing.
My advice to you now is to look at yourself with different eyes. Have the courage to look at yourself with the eyes of a lover. If you are inspired, you can even write yourself a love letter. Trust me, it is very empowering.
Once you can fall in love with yourself as you are now, your life and all your relationships will transform as we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.
Michelangelo said when he talked about his statue of David:''I saw David in the block of marble, I only removed the unnecessary material''. When I work with someone, I focus on seeing the greatness that is already present in them and I assist them in letting go of their fears and limiting beliefs. This is not always an easy process, but it is very rewarding.
We are all great and extraordinary.
We simply need to make a conscious choice to fall in love with ourselves and face our shadow in a loving way.