I am because we are

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- By Stephane Leblanc

My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together. - Desmond Tutu

Ubuntu is an African principle of community which means ''I am because we are''. It describes the most fundamental principle for human beings which is that we are made to be in relationships as what makes us human is our relationships.

Yes, it sometimes feels great to be alone with our own thoughts, walking in the forest, running by the sea or reading a book while enjoying a nice cup of tea.

Yet one cannot thrive alone. Relationships are essential to our growth. In fact, it is the main reason for our relationships, to make us grow.

Everyone that comes into our life has a purpose, a special mission. Some come to love us and encourage us. Others come to trigger us. They are only being themselves but their behaviour triggers something in us and we get upset, sad, angry. This reaction that we have to their behaviour has nothing to do with them and everything to do with us. It is only pointing to the unhealed wounds inside us from earlier in our life.

All our fears and limiting beliefs, we have inherited from our parental and societal programming, and our reaction to other's behaviours is only pointing out to what we need to let go to rise to our full potential and step into our greatness.

Be grateful for whoever comes into your life as they are part of your life plan. Whenever you get upset at someone, stop, reflect and find out what lessons you need to learn and what wounds you need to heal. 

Every friendship travels sometime through the black valley of despair. This tests every aspect of your affection. You lose the attraction and the magic. Your sense of each other darkens and your presence is sore. If you can come through this time, it can purify with your love, and falsity and need will fall away. It will bring you onto new ground where affection can grow again. - John O'Donohue

It can be life changing to recognize that everyone is on healing journey, you and all those you meet. Often when an argument starts in a meeting room full of senior executives, what is present are all the unhealed children inside these adults and well educated men and women. There is always more at play than what appears on the surface. This is why we always need to me mindful of our emotions and try to understand what is triggering them.

As I have been on the transformation journey for more 10 years, I have healed a lot of my wounds through challenging relationships and challenging life events, but I know I have a lot more to heal. Many of my own wounds and some I inherited from my parents. I am always trying to be mindful when I get upset or sad, to find out what I need to heal. This is not always an easy process as it is always easier to blame others for their behaviours and how they make us feel, but the mature thing to do is to assume full responsibility for all your emotions and all your relationships and for you to learn the lessons that you need to learn to grow.

A fundamental concern for others in our individual and community lives would go along way in making the world the better place we so passionately dream of.- Nelson Mandela

Conscious leaders understand that having strong relationships is very important and they take full responsibility for creating them. They also focus on self-mastery and assume full responsibility for their emotions and their healing journey.

I am because we are.