Letting go of being perfect
- By Stephane Leblanc
Perfectionism is an addiction and a disease. I suffered from it for a very long time and I finally cured it at 45 years old after a lot of effort. This has opened a whole new world of possibilities as was able let go of my my old world view that life needed to be perfect and I embraced a new worldview that life is full of possibilities.
Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment and blame. - Brene Brown
I used to define my value through the eyes of others and by the appreciation they showed me and I did everything I could to be perfect. Such behaviour is very paralyzing as no one can ever be perfect and when you are trying hard to be perfect, you often avoid doing things that are too risky because you don't want to avoid failing , being ridiculed or showing your imperfections.
Perfectionism robs us of the pleasure of exercising our talents or trying new things and it also robs us from the pleasure of learning as we learn most when we fail
As I am committed to help everyone I know achieve their full potential, I often try to make each one of them see all their potential, to believe in it and try their very best every day with no concern of what other people think.
The greatest prison that people live in is the fear of what other people think. - David Icke
I was coaching someone recently to pursue her dream of becoming a public speaker. She is reluctant to jump into this as she feels she is not ready. What I see is someone who has a lot of wisdom to share and just needs to trust herself.
I asked her recently: do you trust me? She said yes. Then I said: you have to trust that as you embrace public speaking, I will make sure you shine on stage and I will never allow you to be embarrassed. I will help to prepare you the best I can but first you have to believe this is possible. You may not be perfect the first time but I can promise you will be excellent. Great speakers like Wayne Dyer or Tony Robbins all started with one first speech.
There is indeed a huge distinction between perfection and excellence. Perfection paralyzes as it leaves no room for error and learning, while excellence energizes as it allows learning from failures.
When perfection is driving, shame is riding shotgun, and fear is that annoying backseat driver. - Brene Brown
The challenge with perfection that it is programmed into our kids when they are very young through the school system or through sports. As the parents do not always help. As we want the best for our kids, we often encourage them to get the best grades possible or perform at their very best in sports of music and often there is a lot of drama when the grades are not good enough or the performance in sports or music is not satisfactory.
I encourage you to do all you can to finally let go of perfection in you and to help your kids do the same and to embrace excellence as this will eliminate a lot of drama and stress in your life and will bring a lot of joy and fulfilment to you.
Pursuing excellence over perfection is the path to achieve your full potential.