It's always about you

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By Stephane Leblanc, Founder and CEO, International Centre for Conscious Leadership

It's always about you

What brings you anger, frustration and impatience?

Who in your life is responsible to bring these negative emotions?

What if I told you that you are 100% for all your emotions.  How would you react to this?

In our quest for personal mastery, we quickly realize that no one or no situation can upset us. We always upset ourselves.  Every sign of impatience, frustration or anger is self-generated.

We don't have a lot of control over what happens at work or in our life, but we always have control over how we react.

The situation, action or words of the another person are simply the triggers that bring up the subconsciousness fears of our ego. We always upset ourself through our beliefs and our fears.

A lot of our negative feelings and reactions are rooted in our reptilian brain, the very old part of our brain that is designed to protect us against danger.  Inside the reptilian there is a part called the amygdala which triggers a fight, flight or freeze response when if perceives a treat before we have a chance to process whether this threat which can be triggered when it senses a threat.  

Luckily for us, we also have a more intelligent part of our brain which is called the neocortex. It is the reasoning part of our brain. When engaged, it allows us to respond creatively. By asking questions in the face of a perceived threat. provides us enough time and the appropriate neural response to engage the neocortex.

The triggers that spark negative emotions in us can be words, actions, behaviour and values.

One way to improve the way we manage our emotions when we are triggered is to use a pause button to avoid the amygdala hijack and give time for our neocortex to be engaged.

We can also remember that the meaning we give to a situation creates our reality. The reality we create is based on our beliefs. Our beliefs are based on our past history and they are the filters that give meaning to our world.

Between stimulus and response there is a space.  In that space is our power to choose our response.  In that choice lies our growth and freedom.  -Victor Frankl

By learning to be 100% responsible for our emotions and by learning to manage them, we can grow and be free.